Scarlott Letters

Just some stuff I find funny…

Packing is a Contact Sport

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I spent most of yesterday packing for our trip to Grand Cayman. Besides airport security it is my least favorite part of traveling, but until yesterday, I didn’t realize it was a contact sport. The good news is I didn’t break my nose, but I did bloody it. A while back the strap on our luggage scale broke. I had what I thought was a brilliant idea to fix it using a cable tie. I thought they were unbreakable. I was wrong. Don’t the police use those things to restrain 300 pound bad guys? I chose the easiest ones to find, which are the type used to bundle computer cords together, not the type to pick up a 50 pound suitcase. I know now that was a tactical error. I have my newly fixed luggage scale attached to the handle of my suitcase, both hands griping the strap. I jerk upward to lift, unfortunately, the only thing moving is the strap and my fists at 100 mph as the cable tie breaks and I punch myself right in the nose. A friend of mine was impressed I’d managed to hit my nose with both fists. I’m an overachiever. Luckily, nothing was broken and I woke up this morning without a black eye.

One of the advantages of going to Grand Cayman is that there is a direct flight from Dallas and it doesn’t leave until 10:40am. We skipped having to be at DFW at 5 o’clock to catch the early flight to Miami this year. Go us! My euphoria was short lived when I realized we had to catch a 5 o’clock flight out of Midland instead. Bummer. I had to get up at 2:30am to leave the house by 3:45. It was really a toss up whether to go to bed or just stay up.

The Holcombs and Kulbeths arrived at DFW just a few minutes behind us. Given our history, a Bloody Mary seemed just the ticket to kick things off. Not my favorite drink, but at 6:15, surprisingly good. I’m sorry the rest of the group hadn’t arrived because they 

missed a lot of laughter. For instance, I knew that Denise had her PI license but I didn’t know she had her online PI degree and is “pretty sure” she was valedictorian of her class. And Eddie is an ordained minister. I suspect he got his license from the same online outfit. Someone suggested that we could all renew our vows on the beach. I asked Joe if he would marry me all over again. He’s thinking about it.

The flight in was far superior to our regular flight plan from Midland to Dallas, Dallas to Miami, Miami to San Juan, and San Juan to our destination. Getting through customs with over 100 pounds of food in the possession of the only one of us who can’t lie for shit was dicey. We nearly had our good ol’ Texas steaks confiscated. Added to that, the time we saved with the direct flight was eaten up by the rental car place. I think the car rental guy was sweet on Eddie because he called him Care Bear and the name seems to have stuck. Personally, I think he fits the raunchy, beer swilling bear from the “Ted” movie better, but that’s just me.

Gina, Denise and I decided to walk to the grocery store after being assured by the guy running the taxi stand that it was just a ten minute walk. Maybe for him. Of the three of us, I am the tall one. It’s going to take us twice that long…and it’s hot. Gina stopped to ask a woman, who was sitting in a car by the curb, for verification. When she confirmed that it was considerably further than we were originally told, Gina asked her if she would just “drop us by there.” Has she never heard of stranger danger? I’m thinking they are never going to find the bodies. Luckily, we arrived without being sold as sex slaves or having our kidneys floating around on the black market. A fate I might have preferred if I had know what a zoo the grocery store would turn out to be. I won’t say we were stressed out by the time we were ready to head to the house but single beers were being drunk from paper bags. That’s a special kind of stressed right there. 

The house is awesome! Julia outdid herself again. It’s tradition to spend the day after our travel day hanging at the house and lounging by the pool and basically eating and drinking ourselves into some funny stories. It’s become one of our favorite days. 

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