Scarlott Letters

Just some stuff I find funny…

Day 2 – Ho’s Before Bro’s

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I woke up this morning and my first thought, right after “How cool is this view?” was “Gina is nuts.”  She was in charge of food and decided it was was cheaper to bring as much as possible with us, rather than buy it here, where the cost of beer could almost turn you into a teetotaler…almost. Not only that, but you can’t really get good beef in the islands at any price. We’ve always brought a tenderloin with us, which always makes me nervous going through customs, but this year Gina took it to a whole new level. Here is a partial list of what was brought from Texas: 12 pounds of beef tenderloin, 12 pounds of pork tenderloin, 14 chicken breasts, 55 hot dogs, hamburger patties, homemade meatballs, several boxes of crackers, spices, steak rub, zucchini walnut bread, chips (yes, chips), cereal, candy, all manner of snacks…and most importantly, coffee. In total, over 100 pounds of food was purchased, frozen, packed, carried, checked and flown to the island.  Our food is more well traveled than my kids.  Sad, but true…and no that does not mean you get to come with us next year, Courtney and Whitney.  Not only are we going to have some mighty fine meals, but there’s plenty of room in the suitcases to take shit home.

Most of the day was spent by or in the pool, the music cranked up loud and drinks in hand.  Let me just say that next year there will be an amendment to rule #7 barring anything by the Chipmunks. Spending the day after our travel day just chillin’ has become kind of a tradition. We have a routine…play a day, chill a day, play a day, chill a day. On the ‘chill’ day it’s all like, drink a little, float a little, drink a little, eat a little, float a little, drink a little, laugh a lot.  It works for us.  

I admitted to Joe that I was having a bit of writer’s block this afternoon. I was just not feeling inspired.  That might have been the black rum, but I don’t think so. I told him I needed someone to do something either really stupid or funny.  He says if I wait long enough, I’ll probably see both before the night is over.

Eddie stepped up to the plate and asked me to go take a picture of Denise taking a nap and blog about it.  I think he must want to attend his own funeral…sooner rather than later.  I also thinks he’s a little scared she might smother him in his sleep if he takes the picture. Apparently, he is not as concerned about my welfare.  I told him that women have a code very similar to the ‘bro code’ among men.  For lack of a better term, I’ll just call it the ‘ho code’. Taking a deliberately unflattering picture of a fellow ho would be a direct violation of the code.  It is for this reason there are very few shots of me on these trips.  Unfortunately, Eddie did not get the memo, because if it moves, or in this case doesn’t move, he shoots it.

I, on the other hand, try to take only flattering shots of my fellow hos and bros.  Take this one for instance.  Joe has never looked finer or thinner.  You’d think I Photoshopped it, but I didn’t.  I swear. How lucky am I?

One thought on “Day 2 – Ho’s Before Bro’s

  1. Oh my gosh! I think I need to meet this Eddie person. He must be one epic heroic man to even consider taking or to coerce another party to take a picture of his wife while napping. I’ll bet it’s easy to make someone disappear from off that island. He probably should watch his back for the rest of the time there. And tell him I said, “Good luck!”

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