Scarlott Letters

Just some stuff I find funny…

The Difference Between Dreams and Nightmares


Our motley crew of island-goers leaves for our annual Caribbean trip to Turks & Caicos in a few weeks. It must have been on my mind because I dreamt of bathing suits last night. Somehow my friend Julia and I had discovered a designer swimsuit trunk show. The suits were all gorgeous in their vibrant colors and flattering shapes and had price tags starting at $875. Luckily, we could each buy any one on the rack for $110. What a bargain! How could we NOT get one?

Julia was the first to find one and, of course, it fit her like it was custom made. When it was my turn, I eagerly took a dozen of the most beautiful swimsuits I had ever seen into the fitting room. Telling myself, this year I’m going to look stunning!

20130331-171340.jpg And I did! This picture is a fair representation of how I looked in my dream. I obviously have a vivid imagination.

As you might expect, there was a slight problem. The top of each and every suit made me look like I belonged on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. My arms looked toned and thin. I looked decades younger. I couldn’t believe how hot I looked…but the crotch hung almost to my knees. Noooooooo! You would need to be 6′ tall to pull this off. I’m basically 5″ nothing. You do the math. My dream was obviously turning into a nightmare. Since it was taking artistic license with the rest of me, I don’t know why it couldn’t have made me taller. Stupid nightmare.

Epilogue: Joe read this and asked if that’s really the way I look in my dreams. I said, “yes…mine and yours.”

6 thoughts on “The Difference Between Dreams and Nightmares

  1. I always knew that dreams could not be trusted!

    I don’t even know where you can get any suit at any price made for old bodies. I am waiting for the pantaloons suit to come back around to cover up my flabby thighs. Water wings might work to conceal my upper arm flaps. :/ But happy shopping none the less!!

  2. Too funny! I guess this means the eliptical is not for sale? Hahahahaha! Have a blast on your trip!!!

  3. I wonder why my post didn’t post? I want an explanation of rule number 6

  4. I’m not anonymous …. Mary Seay here!

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