Our motley crew of island-goers leaves for our annual Caribbean trip to Turks & Caicos in a few weeks. It must have been on my mind because I dreamt of bathing suits last night. Somehow my friend Julia and I had discovered a designer swimsuit trunk show. The suits were all gorgeous in their vibrant colors and flattering shapes and had price tags starting at $875. Luckily, we could each buy any one on the rack for $110. What a bargain! How could we NOT get one?
Julia was the first to find one and, of course, it fit her like it was custom made. When it was my turn, I eagerly took a dozen of the most beautiful swimsuits I had ever seen into the fitting room. Telling myself, this year I’m going to look stunning!
As you might expect, there was a slight problem. The top of each and every suit made me look like I belonged on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. My arms looked toned and thin. I looked decades younger. I couldn’t believe how hot I looked…but the crotch hung almost to my knees. Noooooooo! You would need to be 6′ tall to pull this off. I’m basically 5″ nothing. You do the math. My dream was obviously turning into a nightmare. Since it was taking artistic license with the rest of me, I don’t know why it couldn’t have made me taller. Stupid nightmare.
Epilogue: Joe read this and asked if that’s really the way I look in my dreams. I said, “yes…mine and yours.”