Scarlott Letters

Just some stuff I find funny…

Day 7 – Mother Buggers

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I’ve decided that henceforth no-see-um bugs will be referred to as mother buggers. We went into Rock Sound and bought every freakin’ tube of hydrocortisone we could find. Bring it, mother buggers! I’m thinking about making a suggestion to tripadvisor.com…”pack a gallon of DEET when visiting the islands.” What is wrong with a country where you can buy Viagra over the counter but you can’t buy decent bug spray?

We took a side trip to Ocean Hole while we were out. It’s the size of a large Texas-sized pond, but it’s salt water. There is a hole that comes from the ocean somewhere, but they’ve never been able to find it. It must be a small inlet because there are all varieties of tropical fish but they’ve never had any sharks. We took breadcrumbs and started a feeding frenzy of not only the fish but seagulls.

Everyone we talked to said we needed to be sure and go to the fish fry in Governor’s Harbor. Everyone was wrong. Denise said that she was expecting “Oyster Bar fish” and what she got was fried fish alright…head, eyeballs, bones and all. And they serve it to you in the dark, just to make it interesting.

One of my friends back home says we all need nicknames so that it’s easier to keep up with everyone. I’m not sure we need nicknames, but we might need aliases. Tres started it by giving his name as Fabio when he ordered his fish. Julia is Orbitz because she is our travel planner. Dave S. is Jacque, as in Cousteau. Judy is Bo, as in Derek. Eddie is Paparazzi, since he’s taken 347,750 pictures…today.  Denise is Magnum, because she has her PI license, which is a whole story in itself.  Dave K. is the Joker, because Liar Liar Pants on Fire seemed too long. Gina is Martha F’n Stewart because she can whip up a four course dinner with an egg and turnip. Joe is Chad Pitt, Brad’s slightly older but better looking brother, but sometimes uses the name Art Vandela because he is famous by association. Bonus points if you know who Art Vandela is. And I am trying to decide between Bob Marley, because I’ve got the hair for it, and Uma Hemingway. Send me your vote.

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