Scarlott Letters

Just some stuff I find funny…


Fredericksburg Follies – Day 2

You learn a lot about your grown kids on a trip like this. For instance, I didn’t know that Whitney is obsessed with Dr. Oz. Everything is “Dr. Oz says…”. She has become a germ-o-phobe. Shave her head and you’ve got Howie Mandel. As a public service message: never sit your purse on the floor or it will become covered in flesh-eating bacteria. It’s a miracle that I still have flesh enough to issue this dire warning. She didn’t say you couldn’t go barefoot, just don’t set your purse down and you will be safe.

If you happen to get a flesh-eating bacteria and need medical attention, you are out of luck if you have Courtney’s health insurance. Because of a high deductible, her policy won’t pay if she gets sick and actually needs a doctor or prescription but it will pay 100% of the cost of a massage. Thank you Obama.

Whitney is also signed up for some kind of foot detox next week. It brings to mind images of palm readers and fortune tellers to me, but hey, what do I know? Apparently, the practitioner can tell if you have anything wrong with your body by what color the water turns. This could come in handy if you’re on Courtney’s insurance as it’s got to be cheaper than a cat scan.

We woke up to a rainy day. With the drought we’ve had I won’t complain, but doesn’t it just figure? My hair fought the law (of nature and humidity) and the law won. After breakfast, we started our shopping day. It was shop a little and then run like crazy between spells of rain across the street to the next block. Courtney was just not holding up her end of things, so I had to step in to honor the family tradition. Next year she is going to have to start training in July so that she can keep up.

It seemed that we did as much eating as shopping and probably spent more on food than anything, at least until my last purchase of the day, which was a fabulous pair of Lucchese wedding boots. And no, I won’t be posting a picture…you’ll just have to wait to see them for yourself next October.

Now back to the food. We had lunch at the Peach Tree Restaurant where the girls had the best hamburger I’ve ever tasted…prime rib cheeseburger on a homemade bun with locally grown tomatoes and herb mayo and sweet chili relish. It almost made me sorry that I ordered the chicken salad with a cup of chilled avocado soup…almost. We felt virtuous passing up dessert. It was short lived as we ended up at the Fredericksburg Pie Company where we spent $25 on three slices of pie…cherry, peach and bourbon orange pecan. Carbs are having their way with me. Courtney dropped a bite of pie on her shirt and she claims the day is not complete until she’s dropped food on her boobs.

Dinner was at Mamacita’s a Mexican place that’s a favorite of the locals. It was good too. We again passed up dessert…only to bring home a piece of cheesecake ‘just in case’. I am embarrassed…and stuffed.

After such a busy and filling day the only thing we had any energy for was limping back to the cabin to watch the second half of the Aggie/Tech game. We’ve had a great trip. I love spending time with my babies and watching them talk and fret about their babies. Someday they’ll be bringing them along on our trips…and won’t that be grand?



Fredericksburg Follies

I bred a couple of wimps. Everyone knows that just the simple act of getting in the car with me is an adventure…it’s expected and I did not want to disappoint. You would think their lives were flashing before their eyes the way they were carrying on. Backing up a bit, I guess I should explain that I am taking my daughters, Courtney and Whitney, on a mother/daughter trip to Fredericksburg. It’s the first time they have left their babies at home with their husbands, and all I can say is “what took you so long?” It’s also the first time in years that we’ve gone on a trip together.

The road trip was a little extreme at points, like when road construction took the road down to one lane and I was trying to make the light and didn’t realize the cars in front of me had stopped. On the bright side, my new car has an excellent brake system and the seats are stain resistant where Whitney peed her pants. She refused to ride shotgun from that point on. I don’t know why. All it took was dodging some road kill and passing some 18-wheelers to make the trip complete.

We stopped in Hico at the Koffee Kup Kafe. All three of us ordered off their low carb menu, but before you get too proud of us, Joe, I should tell you we ordered a piece of pie called “doctors office pie” to make up for the low carb stuff. I’d like to say that after several months on a low carb diet, it tasted like shit…I’d like to say that, but I can’t.

We finally made it to Fredericksburg and after checking in at our quaint cabin, we hit the shops on Main Street for a couple of hours. If I hadn’t birthed her myself, I would think that Courtney was not mine. She did not buy a single thing. Where did I go wrong? Luckily Whitney did not share her sister’s aversion to shopping.

We had authentic German food for dinner at Friedhelm’s Bavarian Inn, which is like stepping back into the 70s but has the best schnitzel this side of Germany. It was fabulous. After dinner, we went to Hondo’s which is a saloon that was started by the guy who owned Luckenbach. I had my first jalapeño margarita. It had a kick that wasn’t just alcohol related. I may have to develop my own skinny jalapeño margarita recipe to fill a hole in the market for a low carb version. Of course, Hondo’s version was pretty low carb because it was almost pure alcohol, with a slash of margarita mix.

The ‘Almost Patsy Cline’ band was playing outside in the courtyard and it was the place to be on Friday night in Fredericksburg. It was a great end to the day. My goal for tomorrow is to get Courtney to buy something.

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Lakes, laughter and lunatics…

If I were nice, I’d change the names in this narrative to protect the guilty, but I’m not, so I won’t. Our friends, John and Debi Weaver, invited us to join them for a weekend at Gran Chateau. Actually, I kind of lobbied for an invitation, because I have no pride, but Debi went along and graciously invited us to join them for a weekend at the lake.

Right off the bat, this turned out to be an expensive visit because I had to buy a new BMW 535ix just to make the trip. John and Debi bought a fabulous house right on the water at Lake Granbury and it just didn’t seem right to pull up in my old baby Benz. If a trip to the lake doesn’t call for a new ride, I don’t know what does…that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Anyway, we left Midland about 2:00 for the four hour drive..and it was a sweet one in the new car. It really is the Ultimate Diving Machine. We arrived before David and Debbie Anderson, which by house rules gave us the bedroom with the TV…score. Actually, it wasn’t even close because they didn’t even leave Wichita Falls until about an hour after we arrived.

We went to the Rib Shack for dinner, which is famous for not only their BBQ but for their homemade pickles. The girl taking our orders asked each one of us “do you want your sweet…hot…pickle?” Several thoughts occur. Duh, who wouldn’t…why would you ask…do you get a lot of wasted pickles…and why are you saying it that way? So, like a smart ass I said “yes, I want mine and I want his too” indicating Joe who was right behind me. The girl had no sense of humor, but Debi got a chuckle out of it.

Back at the house, we sipped cocktails on the upper deck until David and Debbie arrived. I did not prepared Joe for the experience that is David Anderson, opting instead to let it unfold before him. David regaled us with stories about his college days with John. The thing about David’s stories is that you don’t know how much is fact and how much is the product of a fertile imagination. There’s usually a kernel of truth there, but it’s sometimes like finding a single flake of pepper in a five pound bag of sugar. One memorable story involved Sesame Street…apparently Big Bird is fascinating when you’re high…and another about missing an entire semester of college because he spent all his time watching the Watergate trial. Joe is quietly taking this all in and at the end of David’s elaborate soliloquy drily adds “well, what are you gonna’ do?”…like it made perfect sense to miss a semester due to mind-altering substances and the Watergate trial. I thought Debi was going to pee herself. “What are you gonna’ do” became our catch phrase for the rest of the weekend.

Saturday the girls went down to the Square for a little shopping while the guys watched some college football…a perfect win-win. The guys also went on a little excursion while we were gone but they wouldn’t give us any details, so I’m thinking whatever it was either involved pole dancing or is going to cost Debi a lot of money.

We cooked dinner at the house, and what a meal it was! Sushi, sausage, coffee crusted steaks, baked potatoes and sweet potatoes, roasted corn, beefsteak tomatoes with feta and balsamic vinegar and garden salad…and we still weren’t through. There was also strawberry shortcake and homemade ice cream for dessert. I didn’t just fall off the low-carb wagon, but got run over by it too…and I enjoyed every bite.

We watched the sun set from the patio where the stories and laughter continued, some of which I’ve been asked not to report. Just think about the Obama administration pressuring Ford to pull it’s recent TV ad and in this scenario I’m Ford. I was happy to comply, but I would suggest that John delete his browser history.

We had more fun than a monkey eating a grapefruit (you had to be there)! Great times with great friends. Many thanks to John and Debi for opening their home to us!