Kirk, Kirk, Kirk…you are going to be trouble, aren’t you? I received the following in an email from the Captain today:
“As you recall, when we left off a while back, I believe Sherree may have been a bit concerned <was not> about the bulge aspect of the proposed man-thong attire. Not a problem, apparently. We may have a solution per something new on the market… Check it out: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/eb765784d2/bulge-enhancer-product-test.”
The link Kirk so generously provided is for a “Bulge Enhancer”, where “bigger is always better” and while I agree if we are talking about diamonds, airplanes or 401Ks, I’m not sure I agree when discussing the male…oh hell, who am I kidding, they’ve got a point. Julia says that a summer sausage might be more realistic than the “bulge enhancer”. Being a little optimistic there, aren’t we? On one hand, I think that option could get pretty stinky after a couple of days, but on the other hand, lunch! Maybe we should leave it to each individual man-thong-wearer to come up with their own enhancer. I volunteer to judge the competition. There could be prizes for Most Inventive, Most Lifelike and Most Bodacious, which would go to the person who didn’t need an enhancer at all.
Kirk also pointed out that I was wrong about the conga line style of dance and has opted instead for a “no holes barred, male-gigolo-sorta-thing” and I couldn’t be happier. I can only assume that Kirk has some experience at male gigolo dancing and can clue the other guys in to the proper moves. I hope they involve something a little more advanced than the hip thrust. At least add a little crotch grabbing to keep it interesting. I’m sure the quality of both the dancing and the watching will be enhanced in direct proportion to the number of Painkillers consumed beforehand. I propose we all get started at sunrise.